President Donald Trump took to the stage last night to announce, with his signature bravado, that he is “officially the most humble person ever.” Standing before a sea of adoring fans, Trump delivered what he described as “the single most unassuming speech in history,” packed with classic Trumpisms and a generous dose of ironic humility.
In a groundbreaking address that may redefine the art of modesty, former President Donald Trump declared himself “the most humble person in the history of humility” at a rally on Saturday night. Standing before a crowd of roaring supporters, Trump delivered what he called “the most unpretentious speech ever given by someone as important as me.”
“Look, I don’t like to brag, everybody knows that,” Trump began, waving off his accomplishments with a theatrical shrug. “But if I were to talk about my humility — which, by the way, nobody in the world can match — I would have to say that I’m really, really incredible at being humble. People are telling me, ‘Sir, you’re the best at humility. No one comes close.’ And I say, ‘Folks, please, stop flattering me. I’m just a humble guy doing humble things.’”
To underscore his dedication to being “down-to-earth,” Trump shared his daily habits, designed to “keep things real.” According to the former president, he starts each day with a simple breakfast — “a modest gold-plated bowl of cereal” — and makes a point to “keep all 12 of his jets understated in color.”
“People want to compare me to Gandhi, Mother Teresa, maybe even Abe Lincoln,” Trump continued, visibly moved by his own words. “And I tell them, ‘Folks, those people were great, they really were, but I don’t know if they were this humble.’ I’ve done so much for humility. It’s one of the many things I’ve perfected, along with negotiating, golf, and knowing the best words.”
Pausing for a moment, Trump added with a faint smile, “Some people say, ‘Mr. Trump, you’re too humble. Maybe tone it down a little.’ But I can’t, folks. Humility is in my DNA. I was just born this humble.”
Trump concluded his speech with a message to his detractors, whom he advised to “learn from the master of modesty,” suggesting they tune in to his upcoming series: Trump Teaches Humility: The Best Way to Be Humble, According to the Best at Everything.
“I’m doing this for you,” he said, placing his hand over his heart. “I want you all to know, from the most humbly, humbly great leader, that I am here to serve… very humbly.”
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