“Tired of capitalist chaos and divisive media? North Korea’s new travel campaign promises the peace of a perfectly controlled paradise.”
“Tired of capitalist chaos and divisive media? North Korea’s new travel campaign promises the peace of a perfectly controlled paradise.”
North Korea’s Department of Tourism has launched a new marketing campaign aimed squarely at disillusioned liberal Americans searching for the ultimate destination to match their ideals of state-controlled harmony. The campaign, titled “Discover True Equality: The North Korean Way,” promises travelers a society where state control, economic equality, and the absence of dissent are not just aspirations but daily realities.
North Korea’s Department of Tourism recently issued an official statement encouraging liberal Americans who are “tired of unchecked capitalism and political bickering” to visit the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, where a fully state-controlled media, enforced economic equality, and a lack of dissenting ideas create what officials are calling the “ultimate paradise of harmony.” According to their slogan, “In North Korea, the state protects you, guides you, and ensures that fairness isn’t just a dream.”
Here’s a sneak peek into what progressive-minded tourists can expect in this land of ultimate equality.
In a bid to attract advocates of abortion rights, North Korea touts its policies on reproductive control, ensuring that citizens only bring children into the world if officially sanctioned by the state. “Here in North Korea, we go a step further,” the campaign promises. “Not only can you access abortion services on demand, but all citizens are relieved from the burden of unplanned pregnancies. Our centralized reproductive health system keeps birth rates balanced, making sure resources are shared equally.”
As Ri Jae-Sung, a spokesperson for North Korea’s Department of Tourism, explains: “Americans are divided over abortion rights. In North Korea, there is no confusion—your family’s size is carefully managed, ensuring that no citizen brings undue strain on our socialist systems. It’s about balance and ensuring everyone thrives.”
Progressive ideals of sustainable, walkable “15-minute cities” reach new heights in North Korea, where citizens rarely have the option to venture beyond their assigned urban area. With city borders tightly controlled, the concept of a car-free lifestyle is perfected. The tourism department proudly states: “In Pyongyang, you can access everything you need within a short distance—though you’ll be more than content to stay in our modern, well-provisioned cities, which you won’t need to leave. Ever.”
For visitors who prioritize environmentalism, North Korea boasts the lowest pollution from personal vehicle use, given the strict limitations on car ownership and intercity travel. “It’s eco-friendly, mandatory, and fully state-controlled,” Ri Jae-Sung added.
American progressives who champion higher taxes for the wealthy and large corporations will find North Korea’s economic policies refreshing. The North Korean government enforces a uniquely equalizing tax structure in which private enterprise is nearly nonexistent, and high earners are eliminated entirely. “In the DPRK, we have removed the inequality of wealth altogether,” Ri explained. “Since all businesses are state-owned, no individual can grow unfairly wealthy. All citizens contribute equally to the state and receive equal benefits.”
The state’s collective ownership model ensures that everyone enjoys equal access to housing, healthcare, and education. The Department of Tourism adds, “There is no need to fight for a livable wage or worry about corporate greed—our government has completely eliminated these barriers to happiness.”
For those Americans who feel the social safety net in the U.S. is lacking, North Korea promises an expanded system that covers everything from healthcare to housing. All citizens are provided government-allocated apartments, universal healthcare, and an education system with a standardized curriculum. “No one has to worry about housing or healthcare. We don’t just care for you—we decide for you,” explains Ri. “The DPRK’s social safety net eliminates the stress of personal decision-making, ensuring that every citizen’s basic needs are met in the most efficient way possible.”
The tourism campaign highlights North Korea’s state-managed healthcare system as a point of pride: “Our healthcare system is second to none because we have removed the influence of private interests. No one profits from health here—except the health of the state itself.”
For advocates of workers’ rights, North Korea offers what might be the most “protected” working environment anywhere. All industries operate under state control, guaranteeing full unionization with the ultimate employer: the government. Minimum wage disputes are nonexistent, as the state sets all wages. “Americans want strong unions. Here, all workers are unionized under the DPRK’s one powerful worker’s union: the government. There is no negotiating or debating over benefits,” explained Ri Jae-Sung.
The tourism department further emphasizes the peace of mind in knowing there is no private sector competition: “Everyone earns equally in North Korea, ensuring unity among workers and removing class struggles entirely.”
For those Americans exhausted by divisive media, North Korea promises a news environment free from dissent. The state controls all media and only disseminates information that supports the government’s goals. “Our tourists can enjoy a tranquil media landscape where all news reinforces harmony,” said Ri. “In North Korea, you won’t be troubled by divisive opinion pieces, conspiracy theories, or unnecessary debates. The state decides what you need to know, and nothing more.”
As one official ad boasts: “Are you tired of misinformation and too many opinions? North Korea has solved this issue by ensuring that all media is unified under one truthful source: the government. Our citizens enjoy peace of mind knowing the state will inform them of everything they need to know.”
The Department of Tourism has launched an online campaign inviting Americans who feel alienated by capitalism, polarization, and private interests to explore the harmonious society that North Korea promises. In the words of their campaign slogan: “Why dream of equality when you can experience it?”
As Ri Jae-Sung concludes, “If you are looking for a society where fairness, equality, and unity are not just ideals but enforced realities, North Korea welcomes you with open arms. Join us in the DPRK, where you’ll find the world you’ve been fighting for.”
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