“Meta employees caught red-handed, trading meal vouchers for acne pads and wine glasses—because who needs lunch when you can have flawless skin and a fancy drink?”
“Meta employees caught red-handed, trading meal vouchers for acne pads and wine glasses—because who needs lunch when you can have flawless skin and a fancy drink?”
In a shocking twist straight out of a Silicon Valley soap opera, Meta, the tech overlord formerly known as Facebook, has unleashed the axe on around two dozen employees in a firing frenzy—triggered by an unspeakable crime: misusing meal vouchers to buy acne pads, wine glasses, and laundry detergent.
Yes, you read that right. The same company that wants to revolutionize the metaverse just had to slam the brakes on a secret underground economy of skincare treatments and home décor purchases, all fueled by meal credits meant for actual, you know, food.
Meta, which prides itself on offering its employees a buffet of tech-bro perks, has corporate offices where cafeterias resemble high-end dining experiences. We’re talking about free, gourmet meals, artisanal coffee bars, and probably caviar on toast. But not every office is blessed with such Instagram-worthy spreads. For those unlucky enough to be stationed in smaller offices, Meta generously offers meal vouchers to keep the troops fed while they toil away at their screens. Or at least, that was the plan.
But a sneaky group of LA-based employees thought they’d pull one over on Big Zuck and spend their precious food credits on…wait for it…acne treatment pads and fancy glassware. Because who needs lunch when you can cleanse your pores and sip Chardonnay in style? Not to mention those few rebels who had the audacity to have their meals delivered to their homes. The nerve!
Of course, this didn’t sit well with the powers-that-be. According to inside sources, Meta’s internal investigators swooped in like tech-world detectives and uncovered the shocking truth: these employees weren’t just hungry for meals, they were hungry for personal hygiene and domestic bliss!
The fallout? A swift and merciless purge. The company—currently in the middle of its so-called “Year of Efficiency” (read: mass layoffs)—sent these meal voucher vigilantes packing last week. The Financial Times first broke the news of this jaw-dropping scandal, which has since sent shockwaves through the tech world. And no one is safe! Not even the superstars. Jane Manchun Wong, a legendary tech whistleblower known for leaking unreleased social media features, was among those cut. Wong predicted features for Meta’s platforms before she even worked there, but apparently couldn’t foresee her own pink slip. Tragic.
Meta declined to say exactly how many people got the boot, but the carnage stretches across Instagram, WhatsApp, Facebook, and even Meta’s pet project, Reality Labs—where virtual reality meets real-life unemployment.
In case you’re wondering how much these fired employees were rolling in before their acne pad addiction caught up with them—Meta’s median salary is a cool $379,050 a year. That’s right, folks, nearly $400k, and some employees couldn’t resist the urge to misuse $25 dinner credits.
What’s next for Meta? Will the company pivot to a new “Year of Ramen Noodles”? Is Zuck preparing to personally inspect employees’ lunch bags for contraband moisturizers? Stay tuned as this saga of tech world drama unfolds.
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