“In a move no one saw coming, Vice President Kamala Harris has apparently taken the concept of the ‘blue wall’ from the political world to the construction site. Is this the latest frontier of partisan architecture?” – Dr. P.T. Wallman, Political Analyst and Unofficial Wall Historian.
“Meta employees caught red-handed, trading meal vouchers for acne pads and wine glasses—because who needs lunch when you can have flawless skin and a fancy drink?”
Yes, I know it’s not real news—but have you seen what happens when you rub toothpaste on your car?
Let’s face it—no one actually reads the full articles anymore. Why waste your precious time scrolling through paragraphs when we all know it’s the title that does the heavy lifting?
“We realize now ‘delays’ is not a helpful update,” says MTA in heartfelt non-statement.
Every four years, the world begs for my attention—and it’s about time they showed some respect.
“I’ve been watching for 30 years and still don’t understand a thing,” says confused cricket fan.
“It’s just not worth the hassle,” says Galactic Union spokesperson as they consider quieter vacation spots.
Let’s face it, we’ve all collectively decided that “whatever” is our default setting, and it’s about time we embraced it.
“It’s like our policies don’t even exist,” says proud developer of the “Filter” app.
